Xogwarrankan waxaa idiin soo diyaariyey Guddiga Muslimiinta Dumarka Kanada [Canadian Council of Muslim Women (CCMW)] si uu dumarka Muslimiinta ah u siiyo warbixin kooban oo ku aadan xeerka qoyska ee gobolka Ontario sida uu u quseeyo bulshada Muslimiinta ah.

Waxaan isku dayeynaa in aan ka jawaabno su’aalaha ugu muhimsan oo ku saabsan sida shareecada Islaamka loogu isticmaali karo xallinta khilaafaadka qoyska kolka la joogo Kanada. 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 2 CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 3 Guurka iyo furidda Buugan yar waxaa loogu tala galay in lagugu siiyo warbixin gaaban oo ku saabsan arrimaha khuseeyo sharciga. Xogtan ma lagu beedeli karo xogta gaarka ah iyo caawinaada qofka loo fidiyey oo sharciga ku saabsan. Haddii arrintaada ay khuseyso sharciga xeerka qoyska, raadso la talin sharci ah sida ugu dhaqsiyaha badan si xaqaada aad u dhacsato. Xogwarran dheeraad ah ee ku saabsan sida aad u heli lahayd qareenka arrimaha xeerka qoyska, lagacna aad u siin lahayd, ka fiiriso buuga yar ee FLEW oo ku magacaaban “sida aad u heli lahayd cid kaa caawinta dhibaatada xeerka qoyska” oo ku qoran shabakadda FLEW oo ah www.onefamilylaw.ca. Maxaa loola jeeda guurka sharciga ah marka Kanada la joogo? Si guurkaada uu u noqdo mid Kanada laga aqoonsanyahay, waa in aad raacdaa labada nooc oo uu sharciga faraayo. Nooca koowaad wuxuu qeexaya cidda sharci ahaan wax guursan karta. Nooca labaad wuxuu qeexayaa habka uu guurka u dhici karo. 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 3 (a) Yaa wax guursan karo marka Ontario la joogo? Waxaa jira dhowr qodob oo qeexayo qofka wax guursan karo iyo qofka aan wax guursan karin marka Ontario la joogo. Qodobadaas waxaa ka mid ah tusaale ahaan: · Gobolka Ontario gudahiisa, si aad u guursato waa in aad tahay ugu yaraan 18 jir. Haddi aad jirto 16 ama 17 sano, sida keli ah ee aad ku guursan kartid waa adiga oo ogolaasho qoraal ah ka sita waalidkaada. Gobolka Ontario gudahiisa waa ka mamnuuc ah in dhallinyaro 16 sano ka yar ay is guursadaan, xitaa haddii uu waalidka ogolyahay. · Waxaad guursan kartaa nin ama naag. · Haddii aad xaas leedahay ma guursan kartid xaas kale. Kanada gudaheeda waa ka mamnuuc in hal xaas ka badan la yeesho. Arrintan waxaa lagu magacaabaa godadleyn. · Haddii aad horey u soo guursatay, waa in aad soo caddeysaa in aad is furteen saygaadii hore. Haddii aad waddan Kanada ka baxsan aad isku furteen, waa in aad soo caddeysaa in furitaankaas uu ahaa mid waddankaas ka sharciyeysan 4 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 4 Haddii saygaada furitaankiisa laga aqoonsanayn Kanada gudaheeda, sharci ahaan kuma guursan karo. Waad qaldan tihiin adiga iyo jaalkaadaba in aad si daacad ah u rumeysataan in furitaankii hore uu ahaa mid sax ah, sidaas dartedna aad is guursan kartaan – furitaanka waddanka Kanada dibaddiisa ah haddii aan la aqoonsaneyn, markale ma guursan karo ruuxaasi maxaayeelay sharciga Kanada u degsan ma ogola in uu ruux yeesho wax ka badan hal xaas. · Haddii adiga iyo ruuxa kale aad qaraabo aad isugu dhow tihiin dhiig ahaan ama isla soo korteen, lama ogola in aad is guursataan. Ma guursan kartid waalidkaada, ayeeyo/awoowe, caruurtaada, caruurta aad ayeeyo/awoowe u tahay, walaalkaa, walaashaa, caruurta aad isku hooyo ama isku aabe tihiin. · Guurkiina mid sharciyeysan ma noqon karo, haddii adiga ama ruuxa kale uusan fahamsaneyn macnaha guurka. · Haddii lagugu khasbo guurka, Kanada gudaheeda wuxuu ka yahay mid sharci darro ah. CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 5 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 5 (b) Sharciyan waxa layska rabo Qeybta labaad ee sharciyadan waxay qeexayaan sida uu guurka u dhici lahaa. Haddii aad ku guursaneysid Kanada gudaheeda, guurkaada waa in uu waafaqsanaadaa sharciyada u degsan gobolka aad ku guursaneysid. Gobolka Ontario, waxaa lagaa rabaa in aad warqadda shatiga guurka ka soo qaadato xafiiska dowladda hoose ee magaalada ama tuulada aad deggantahay. Shatiga oo aan qiimo badan joogin wuxuu waxtar leeyahay muddo saddex bilood ah. Wuxuu ku anfacayaa in aad la tagtit meel kasta oo Ontario ka mid ah si aad guurkaada u sharciyeysid. Si uu guurkiina u noqdo mid sharciga waafaqsan, waa in uu isku kiin guuriyaa ruux ama qaali ka sharciyeysan gobolka Ontario. Imaamada masaajidka qaarkood sharci ayey u leeyihiin in ay wax isku guuriyaan. Imaamka waa in uu shatiga wax laysugu guuriyo ka haysto gobolka si uu u fuliyo guur sharciyeysan. Waxaa kaloo wax kuu guurin karo qaali, xoghaynta dowladda hoose iyo ruux kale oo sharci u leh in uu wax isu guuriyo. 6 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 6 Kanada ma laga aqoonsanyahay guur waddan kale lagu sameeyey? Badanaa, guurka waddan kale lagu sameeyey waa laga aqoonsadaa Kanada gudaheeda. Marka keli ah oo aan la aqoonsaneyn waa nidaamka gododlenimada. Sida aan kor ku xusnayba, gododleynta (in la yeesho hal xaas ka badan) sharci ma ahan marka Kanada la joogo. Haddii aad isku guursateen waddan laga aqoonsan yahay gododleynta, marka la eego xeerka qoyska ee Ontario waxaad xaq u yeelan kartaa masruufka caruurta, masruufka xaaska iyo qeybta hantida reerka kolka aad kala tagtaan saygaada, xitaa haddii guurkaada aanan laga aqoonsaneyn halkan. Haddii aad Kanada deggantahay oo aad aadid waddan kale si aad u soo guursato, guurkaada waa in uu waafaqsanaado sharciga waddanka aad ku guursaneysid. Hasayeeshee, si guurkan uu Kanada sharci uga noqdo waa in uu waafaqsanaado qodobada aan kor ku soo xusnay oo ku wajahan cidda guursan karto iyo cidda kale marka la eego sharciga Kanada. CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 7 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 7 `Guud ahaan dadka Kanedianka ah ee ku soo guursanaayo waddamada dibadda ah waxaa laga rabaa in ay waafaqaan sharciga waddankaas marka la eego (habka) laysu guursado iyo sharciga Kanada marka la eego (yaa) wax guursan karo. Tusaale ahaan, haddii aad tahay 15 jir oo aad guursato inta aad dibadda joogto, guurkaada ansax ma ahan marka la eego sharciga Kanada xitaa haddii habka aad u guursatay uu waafaqsanaa sharciga waddankaas aad ku guursatay. Hasayeeshee, haddii adiga iyo jaalkaada aad sharci u leedahiin in aad is guursataan marka la eego sharciga Kanada u degsan oo aad isku guursataan waddan aqoonsan is guursashada dadka kala fog (sida telefoonka ama ruux wakiil laga dhigto), guurkan wuu waafaqsanyahay sharciga Kanada. Haddii uu shaki kaaga jiro arrinta guurkaada, latasho ruux qareen ah. Furitaanka Kanada gudaheeda ka dhaca Hal sharci oo ku saabsan furitaanka ayaa ka jira Kanada oo idil. Waa midka lagu magacaabo “Divorce Act”. Sharcigan iyo habka loo maro furitaanka waa isku mid, meel kasta oo aad Kanada ka joogtidba. 8 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 8 Waa in aad tagtaa maxkamadaha arrimaha qoyska u qaabilsan. Adiga, saygaada ama labadiina oo wada socdaba waad weydiisan kartaan codsiga furitaanka. Si aad furitaan u codsato uma baahnid fasaxa saygaada. Haddii aad haysato furiin diinta Muslimka waafaqsan, macnaheeda ma ahan in aad si sharci ah u furan tahay maxaayeelay Kanada ma aaminsanaha furiinka noocan ah. Si furiinka uu sharci u noqdo waa in aad raacdaa habka ku qeexan Sharciga Furiinka (Divorce Act). Codsiga waxaad ku weydiisan kartaa in aad is furtaan oo keli ah ama waxaad ku dari kartaa oo kale in maxkamadda ay go’aamiso qofkii qaadi lahaa xannaanynta caruurta, masruufka iyo qeybinta hantida guriga. Codsashadan waxaa lagu magacaabaa codsiga dhaxalka guurka burburay. Marka aad furitaan codsaneysid, waa in aad soo caddeysaa in guurkiina uu burburay. Waxaad ku caddeyn kartaa saddex nooc mid kood. Nooca ugu caansan waa caddeynta ah in ugu yaraan muddo hal sano ah aad adiga iyo saygaada kala nooleydeen inta aadan soo codsan furitaankan. Guriga idinka oo ku wada nool haddana waad noqon kartaan laba qof oo aan guur ka dhaxeyn. CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 9 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 9 Sida kale oo aad isku furi kartaan wuxuu yahay haddii uu ruux idinka mid ah uu sinaysto ama saygaada uu noqdo mid naxariis daran oo aan lala noolaan karin. Kanada ma laga aqoonsanyahay furitaanka waddan kale lagu sameeyey? Furitaanka waddan kale lagu sameeyey waa laga aqoonsanyahay Ontario gudaheeda, kol haddii adiga iyo saygaada aad waddankasi ku wada nooleeydeen ugu yaraan muddo hal sano ah inta aadan codsan furitaanka. Haddii labadiinaba aad waddankaasi ku nooleeydeen muddo hal sano ka yar, haddana furitaankiina waa la aqoonsan karaa haddii ruuxa codsiga soo sameeyey uu caddeyn karo in uu “si cad ugu xiranyahay” waddankaasi. Tusaale ahaan, haddii waddanka furitaanka kuu sameeyey aad ku laabato kolka aad kala tagtaan saygaadii hore, maxkamadda waxay kuu aqoonsan kartaa in aad “xiriir cad “ la leedahay waddankaas. “Xiriir cad” in waddankaas lala leeyahay waxaa kaloo lagu caddeyn karaa haddii qofka la furay uu waddankaas ku leeyahay dhul ama uu waqti badan joogay halkaas. 10 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 10 CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 11 Haddii saygaada uu kugu furo waddan ajnabi ah, waxaad luminaysaa xaq badan oo aad sheegan lahayd Kanada inta aad joogto. Haddii aad aaminsantahay in furiinkaada uu ahaa mid xaq darro ah, waa in aad maxkamadda Kanada tagtaa. Haddii aad ku guuleysato in la nasaqo furiinkii hore, waxaad markaa la imaan kartaa codsiga furiin cusub, kaddibna waad weydiisan kartaa qeybtaada masruufka iyo qeybtaada hantida reerka. Haddii lagugu furay waddan dibadda ah oo aad rabtid in mar kale aad ku guursato Kanada, waa in aad la timaadaa caddeyn ah in lagu furay si aad u guursato mar kale. Si taas loo tix geliyo, waa in aad keentaa nuqulka maxkamadda ka soo baxay oo sharciyeysan. Haddii warqaddan aysan ku qorneyn Ingiriisi ama Fransiis, waa in warqadda uu tarjumaa ruux sharci u leh tarjumidda. Midda kale, waa in uu ruux qareen ah soo caddeeyo in sharciga Kanada uu aqoonsanyahay warqadda. 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 11 Waddamada qaarkood waxay ogol yihiin furiinka nooca bidah, furiin deg degsiyo ah oo aysan naagta ka soo qeyb galeyn. Noocan furiinka ah way dhib badan tahay in maxkamadaha Kanada ay aqbalaan. Ka qaadidda aqabadaha diiniga ah ee diidaayo in dib loo guursado Diimanka qaar kood ma aqoonsana furitaanka madaniga ah, waxayna kaa mamnuuci karaan ka qeybgalka arrimaha diiniga ah. Waxay kaloo ku dhihi karaan hab diini ah dib uguma guursan kartid. Haddii ay saa dhacdo, xeerka qoyska ee Kanada kaama caawini karo in aad si diini ah u guursato. Laakiin waxaad xaq u leedahay in aad u guursato si madani ah. 12 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 12 Xeerka qoyska Kanada kuma khasbi karo saygaada in uu si diini ah kuu furo. Sharciga Kanada wuxuu leeyahay sayga uma isticmaali karo furitaanka diiniga ah in uu kaga faa’ideysto waan waanta xeerka qoyska u tilmaamayo. Haddii saygaadii hore uu isku deyo in uu kaa hor istaago in aad dib u guursato asagoo adeegsanaayo qodobka diiniga ah, maxkamadda way hor istaageysaa codsigiisa ku aadan arrimahiisa xeerka qoyska ama waxay gaari doontaa go’aan ah in uusan asaga ka doodi karin arrimahiisa xeerka qoyska ku aadan. Maxkamadda waxay kaloo nasakhi kartaa heshiiskii aad wada gaarteen haddii ay ogaato in uu ka faa’ideystay heshiiskaas oo uu helay sida uu wax u rabay asaga oo ku hanjabay in uu ho ristaagi doono guurkaada dambe ee diiniga ah Haddii saygaada uu kuu ballanqaad in uu kugu furo si diinta muslimka waafaqsan sida aad horey ugu heshiisaynba, kaddibna uu ballankii ka baxo, maxkamadda waxay kuu ogolaan kartaa abaalmarin dhaqaale ah. CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 13 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 13 Dhacdo: 1. Sacdia iyo Nessim waxay isku Nikaxsadeen Kanada, sharciga Bakistaanna wuu aqoonsanyahay guurkan. Ma aysan sameysan shatiga guurka. Guurkoodan ma mid waafaqsanbaa sharciga Kanada? Jawaab: Maya. Maxaayeelay, inkastoo Sacdiya iyo Nessim ay Kanada isku guursadeen, waxaa laga rabay in ay guurkooda waafajiyaan Sharciga Guurka (Marriage Act) ayna sameystaan shati. 2. Xassan iyo Sureya waxay isku guursadeen Kanada. Muddo kaddib Sureya waxay ogaatay in Xassan uu weli xaas kale leeyahay. Guurkeeda ma mid sharci ahaa? Ma leedahay wax xaq ah marka la eego sharciga Kanada? Jawaab: Sharciga Kanada marka la eego Sureya guurkeeda ma ahan sharci. Sharciga Kanada ma ogola qof xaas leh in uu markale xaas kale yeesho. Inkastoo ay Kanada ku guursatay, haddana ma codsan karto qeybteeda hantida guriga. Hasayeeshee, duroofahooda marka la eego, waxaa dhici kara in ay codsan karto masruufka xaaska. Haddii Xassan iyo Sureya ay caruur leeyihiin, waxay codsan kartaa xanaaneynta iyo masruufka caruurta. 14 GUURKA IYO FURIDDA 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 14 3. Khaalid iyo Yaasmiin waxay ku noolyihiin Kanada. Khaalid wuxuu u dhoofay waddankiisi, Jordan, si uu furo xaaskiisa. Yaasmiin ma aysan ka warqabin arrinta furiinkeeda. Waa maxay xaqqa ay leedahay Yaasmiin marka la eego sharciga Kanada? Jawaab: Inkastoo furiinka uu Khaalid sameeyey laga ictiraafsanyahay waddankiisa, maxkamadda Kanada way diidi kartaa in ay aqoonsato furiinkan, maxaayeelay Yaasmiin lama siinin wax digniin ah mana aysan ka qeyb galin habka uu u dhacay furiinkeeda. Sidaas oo kale Maxkamadda ma aqoonsanaan doonto furiinkan Khaalid haddii uusan caddeynin in uu xiriir cad la lahaa waddankiisa hooyo ee Jordan. Haddii maxkamadda Kanada aysan aqoonsan furiinkooda, Yaasmiin waxay maxkamadda Kanada ka codsan kartaa in lays furo, isla markaana codsato masruuf, qeybteeda hantida reerka iwm. CANADIAN COUNCIL OF MUSLIM WOMEN (CCMW) 15 5020_CCMW_M&D_SOMv4.qxd:FLEW 4/17/09 4:14 PM Page 15 Buugan yar waxaa soo diyaariyey hay’adda “ Family Law Education for Women (FLEW)”, waana mashruuc loogu tala galay in lagu hanuuniyo bulshada waxaana maalgeliyey dowladda dhexe ee Onraio. Hay’adda FLEW ujeedada ay ka leedahay buugan wuxuu yahay in ay dumarka ku siiso xogwarran ku saabsan xaqqooda ku cad xeerka qoyska ee Ontario. Hay’adda FLEW waxay kaloo soo saartay qoraalo ka hadlaayo mowduucyada ah: Siyaabaha kale ee lagu xallin karo khilaafaadka; xanaaneynta iyo ka warqabka; badbaadinta caruurta; masruufka caruurta; xeerka qoyska iyo kan dambiyada; xeshiisyada qoyska; gar-qaadidda xeerka qoyska; xeerka qoyska iyo dumarka soo galootiga ah,kuwa qaxootiga ah iyo kuwa aan sharciga lahayn; guurka iyo furiinka; sida aad u heli lahayd cid kaa caawinta dhibaatada xeerka qoyska; qeybinta hantida reerka iyo masruufka xaaska. Haddii aad rabti warbixinno kale oo ku diyaarsan luqado kale iyo noocyo kale, fadlan ka fiiri shabakaddat www.onefamilylaw.ca iyo www.undroitdefamille.ca. Buugan waxaa la heli karaa asagoo luqado kale ku qoran. Fadlan eeg shabakadda www.onefamilylaw.ca si aad u hesho warbixin dheeraad ah. Websaaydka waxaad kaloo ka heleysaa buugag badan oo kaa caawinaayo sida aad u aqoonsan lahayd xaqaada ku qoran sharciga xeerka qoyska. Canadian Council of Muslim Women www.ccmw.com MD/SOM 003.

In Islam, marriage is a legal contract (Literary Arabic: عقد القران ʻaqd al-qirān, “matrimony contract”; Urdu: نکاح نامہ‎ / ALA-LC: Nikāḥ-nāmah) between two people. The bride is to consent to the marriage of her own free will. A formal, binding contract is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. There must be two Muslim witnesses of the marriage contract. Divorce is permitted and can be initiated by either party. The actual rules of marriage and divorce (often part of Personal Status Laws) can differ widely from country to country, based on codified law and the school of jurisprudence that is largely followed in that country.

In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different fixed-term marriage known as zawāj al-mutʻah(“temporary marriage”) permitted only by the Twelver branch of Shia Islam for a pre-fixed period. There is also Nikah Misyar, a non-temporary marriage with the removal of some conditions permitted by some Sunni Muslims, which usually amount to the wife waiving her right to sustenance from her husband.

In Islam, marriage is not compulsory and a Muslim has the right to live a single life if he or she wishes to. One example isProphet Isa, who neither married nor had any children. However, marriage is an act of Sunnah in Islam and is highly recommended.

Pre-Islamic Arabia

In Pre-Islamic Arabia a variety of different marriage practices existed. The most common and recognized types of marriage at this time consisted of: marriage by agreement, marriage by capture, marriage by purchase, marriage by inheritance and “Mot’a” or temporary marriage.

Prior to Islam, women could not make decisions based on their own beliefs, and had little control over their marriages. They were never bound by contract for marriage or custody of children and their consent was never sought. Women were seldom allowed to divorce their husbands and their view was not regarded for either a marriage or divorce. If they got divorced, women were not legally allowed to go by their maiden name again. They could not own or inherit property or objects, even if they were facing poverty or harsh living conditions. Women were treated less like people and more like possessions of men. They, however, could be inherited and moved from home to home depending on the wants and needs of their husband and his family. Essentially, women were slaves to men and made no decisions on anything, whether it be something that directly impacted them or not. If their husband died, his son from a previous marriage was entitled to his wife if the son wanted her. The woman had no choice in the matter unless she was able to pay him for freedom, which was, in most cases, impossible.

One of the most extroadinary practices that took place was that if a husband died, his son could inherit his wife (his own mother) to be his own wife. Marriage by inheritance, and incestuous relationships between a son and his own mother was “a widespread custom throughout Arabia, including Medina and Mecca”. If the son of a deceased husband (his deceased father) did not want his wife (own mother), the woman was forced to leave her home and live in a hut for one year. The hut that the women lived in was kept dark with very poor air circulation. After one year, the woman was allowed to come out of the hut, and people were permitted to heave camel excrement at her. People in Mecca would blame her for refusing to sleep with her own son.

In 586 AD women were acknowledged to be human. Although this appears to be a change in the status of women in Arabia, they were only acknowledged as human with the sole purpose of serving men. They were considered human, but were not given the same rights as men and were not treated equally in respect to men. In fact, it was common for a new father to be outraged upon learning that his baby was a female. It was believed that the birth of a girl was a bad omen, and men thought that daughters would bring disgrace to the family. Because baby girls were thought to be evil, many of them were sold or buried alive.

Marriage by agreement

The first of four common marriages that existed in pre-Islamic Arabia was marriage by agreement. This consisted of an agreement between a man and his future wife’s family. This marriage could be within the tribe or between two families of different tribes. In the case that involved a man and woman of two different tribes, the woman would leave her family and permanently reside within her husband. The tribe of the husband then kept the couples children, unless a different arrangement was previously made which returned the children to their mother’s tribe. In other cases women were forbidden from marrying outside of the tribe and had to either marry another member or a stranger who would agree to live within her tribe. The reason for inter-tribal marriages was to ensure the protection and possession of the children the couple would produce. Women in inter-tribal marriages received more freedom and retained the right to dismiss or divorce their husbands at any time. The women had precise rituals they used to inform their husbands of their dismissal, such as this: “if they lived in a tent they turned it around, so that if the door faced east, it now faced west, and when the man saw this, he knew that he was dismissed and did not enter”.

Marriage by capture

The second of four common marriage practices that existed in pre-Islamic Arabia was marriage by capture, or “Ba’al”, as it was known in Arabic. Most often taking place during times of war, marriage by capture occurred when women were taken captive by men from other tribes and placed on the slave market of Mecca. From the slave market these women were sold into marriage or slavery. In captive marriages men bought their wives and therefore had complete control over them. Women in these marriages had no freedom and were subjected to following their husband’s orders and bearing his children. These women became their husbands property and had no rights to divorce or dismissal of her husband and therefore completely lost any previous freedom. Her husband had absolute authority over her, including the exclusive right to divorce. The husbands of these marriages were classified as their wife’s lord or owner and had complete rights to his wife and her actions.

Marriage by purchase

The third of four common marriage practices that existed in pre-Islamic Arabia was “marriage by purchase.” This was a more traditional marriage practice. These marriages consisted of the groom or groom’s father paying the bride “Mahr“, or a dowry; to marry them. The dowry usually consisted of items like camels and horses. Women in “purchased” marriages faced the same oppression as the women who were forced into marriages by capture. This practice may have led to a decrease in female infanticide due to the profit a family could incur for selling their daughter. Women in these marriages were subject to their husbands control and had very little rights or freedom of their own.

Marriage by inheritance

The fourth and last of four common marriage practices that existed in pre-Islamic Arabia was “marriage by inheritance”. This kind of marriage would thus result in aincestuous relationship between a son and his own mother. Such “marriages” was “a widespread custom throughout Arabia, including Medina and Mecca”. This practice involved the possession of a deceased man’s wife being passed down to his son. In such a case, the son has several different options. He could keep her (own mother) as his wife, arrange a marriage by purchase for her to enter into from which he would receive a dowry for her, or he could simply dismiss her and had the right to forbid her to remarry. In these cases, as in the majority of marriage practices at this time, the woman had little or no rights and was subjected to follow the orders of her inheritor.

Reforms after Islam

See also: Islamic marital jurisprudence

Prophet Muhammad had reformed the laws and procedures of the common marriage practices that existed during his prophethood. The rules of “marriage by agreement (marriage through consent)” and “marriage by capture” were reformed and a strict set of rules and regulations were put in place. The practices of “marriage by purchase” and “marriage by inheritance” were forbidden. Several chapters and verses from the Quran were revealed which banned such practices.

Under the Arabian pre-Islamic law, no limitations were set on men’s rights to marry or to obtain a divorce. Islamic law, however, restricted polygamy (^[Quran 4:3])The institution of marriage, characterized by unquestioned male superiority in the pre-Islamic law of status, was redefined and changed into one in which the woman was somewhat of an interested partner. ‘For example, the dowry, previously regarded as a bride-price paid to the father, became a nuptial gift retained by the wife as part of her personal property’ Under Islamic law, marriage was no longer viewed as a “status” but rather as a “contract”. The essential elements of the marriage contract were now an offer by the man, an acceptance by the woman, and the performance of such conditions as the payment of dowry. The woman’s consent was imperative. Furthermore, the offer and acceptance had to be made in the presence of at least two witnesses. A man was not allowed to leave his wife and marry someone else just because the other women pleased him more. A married woman also had rights over the husband as stated by Muhammad that “You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.”

Conditions

Islamic marriages require acceptance, in Arabic: قبول‎ qubūl, of the groom, the bride and the consent of the custodian (wali) of the bride. The contract of anIslamic marriage is concluded between the guardian (wali) of the bride and bridegroom, not between bridegroom and bride. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferable her father. Guardian (wali) of the bride can only be a free Muslim. The bride normally is present at the signing of the marriage contract, but this is not mandatory.

The Wali mujbir (Arabic: ولي مجبر‎) is a technical term of Islamic law which denotes the guardian of a bride. In traditional Islam, the literal definition of “wali”, which means “force”, is used. But just as English words have multiple meanings under different context, so does the word “wali”. In this context, it is meant that the silence of the bride is considered consent. In most schools of Islamic law, only the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride can be wali mujbir.

If the conditions are met and a mahr and contract are agreed upon, an Islamic marriage ceremony, or wedding, can take place. Nowadays the marital contract often is also signed by the bride, whereas technically it only requires verbal agreement by both parties, wali and bridegroom. The consent of the bride is mandatory even though in some areas of the world the local culture dictates it as not to be so if her wali,her father or paternal grandfather (wali mujbir), agrees to the marriage.Hadith the Islamic marriage is then declared publicly, in Arabic: إعلان‎, aa’laan, by a responsible person after delivering a sermon to counsel and guide the couple. It is not required, though customary, that the person marrying the couple should be religiously qualified. Bridegroom can himself deliver the sermon in presence of representatives of both sides if he is religiously so educated as the story goes about Imam Muhammad bin Ali around 829 CE and recently in Kashmir in 2013 by Muhammad Aasif bin Ali after more than eleven centuries. It is typically followed by a celebratory reception in line with the couple’s or local customs, which could either last a couple of hours or precede the wedding and conclude several days after the ceremony.

The Qur’an tells believers that even if they are poor they should marry to protect themselves from immorality^{[Quran 24:33]}. The Quran asserts that marriage is a legitimate way to satisfy one’s sexual desire. Islam recognizes the value of sex and companionship and advocates marriage as the foundation for families and channeling the fulfillment of a base need. Marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one’s faith, according to a saying of Muhammad. Whether marriage is obligatory or merely allowed has been explored by several scholars, and agreed that “If a person has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating his wife or of committing the unlawful if he doesn’t marry, then marriage in his case is mustahabb (preferred).”

Prerequisites

The Qur’an outlines some conditions for a marriage to take place:^{[Quran 4:24]}

• The marriage contract is concluded between the guardian (wali) of the bride and the bridegroom.
• A marriage should be conducted through a contract and a mandatory sum of wealth provided to the bride, which here refers to the mahr. Once a mahr has been ascertained with the realization that it is an obligation of a Muslim husband, the groom is required to pay it to the bride at the time of marriage unless he and his bride can mutually agree to delay the time of some of its payment. In 2003, Rubya Mehdi published an article in which the culture of mahr among Muslims was thoroughly reviewed. There is no concept of dowry as such in Islam, although mahr is often translated into English as dowry in the want of a more accurate word. A dowry as such is a payment to the groom from the bride’s family, and is not an Islamic practice but borrowed from other religions into some Muslim cultures, notably in the Indian Subcontinent. Bride prices are also expressly prohibited.
• Another requisite of marriage is chastity. No fornicator has the right to marry a chaste partner except if the two purify themselves of this sin by sincere repentance.
• Marriage is permitted for a man with a chaste woman either Muslim or from the People of the Book (Arabic Ahl al Kitab, Jews, Sabians and Christians) but not to polytheists (or “idolaters”: Yusufali translation or “idolatresses”: Pickthal translation). For women, marriage to Jews, Sabians and Christians and to polytheists (Idolatry) (or “idolaters”: Yusufali translation or “disbelievers”: Pickthall translation) is prohibited; they are only allowed to marry Muslims. There is no express prohibition in the Qur’an or elsewhere about a Muslim woman marrying a kitabi (People of the Book). However, the vast majority of Muslim jurists argued that since express permission was given to men, by implication women must be prohibited from doing the same. The movement of Islamic jurists and imams that do not agree on this interpretation is growing.
• Spoken consent of the woman is only required if she is not a virgin and her wali is neither her father nor her paternal grandfather. But a virgin may not be married off without her permission. If she is too shy to express her opinion her silence will be considered as implicit agreement [Al Bukhari:6455]. The wali, who can force a bride against her outspoken will into marriage, is called wali mujbir, according to “The Encyclopaedia of Islam”. If the woman was forced into a marriage, without the above mentioned conditions, according to the Hanafi school of Islamic law the decision can be revoked, when the bride comes of age. Binti Khudham says that when she became a widow her father solemnized her marriage. She did not like the decision so she went to Muhammad, who gave her permission to revoke her marriage. Hence, forced marriages are against Islamic teachings if the woman is a virgin, and those forced into marriages before they have come of age have the right to contest them once they do.

Rights and obligations of spouses

According to Islam, both men and woman have rights over each other when they enter into a marriage contract with the husband serving as protector and supporter of the family most of the time, from his means.^{[Quran 4:34]} This guardianship has two aspects for both partners:

• The husband is financially responsible for the welfare and maintenance of his wife or wives and any children they produce, to include at a minimum, providing a home, food and clothing. In return, it is the duty of the wife to safeguard the husband’s possessions and protect how wealth is spent. If the wife has wealth in her own capacity she is not obliged to spend it upon the husband or children, as she can own property and assets in her own right, so the husband has no right for her property and assets except by her will. A pre-marital agreement of the financial expectation from the husband is in the mahr, given by him to the wife for her exclusive use, which is included as part of his financial responsibility.

Several commentators have stated that the superiority of a husband over his wife is relative, and the obedience of the wife is also restrictive. The Quran advises men that if they are certain of a rebellious attitude by the woman, they should first admonish her, then refuse to share beds, and finally beat (“darab”) her, according to Qur’an 4:34.(Today most Islamic scholars agree that it be without leaving a mark and not on the face). This refers to serious breaches of behaviour such as being promiscuous according to renowned 20th-century scholar Muhammad Hamidullah which is not expected from a dutiful wife, and not for simple disobedience to the husband. In explaining this, Ibn Abbas gives an example of striking with a toothstick.

Women are also reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking divorce.^{[Quran 4:128]} The Quran re-emphasizes that justice for the woman includes emotional support, and reminds men that there can be no taking back of the mahr or bridal gifts given to women. In unfortunate cases where the agreement was to postpone payment of the mahr, some husbands will bully their wives and insist on the return of what he gave her in order to agree to the dissolution of the marriage, this is un-Islamic and cruel. “Where the husband has been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him. Unfortunately most couples refuse to go to the judge and binding arbitration for these issues even though the Quran says:

“And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they (the arbiters) desire reconciliation, Allah will affect it between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [4:36]

Mahr, dowry and gifts

Mahr (donatio propter nuptias ) differs from a marriage dowry or gift in Western countries, in that it is mandatory for a Muslim marriage. The amount of money or possessions of the mahr is paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage for her exclusive use. The mahr does not have to be money, but it must have monetary value. Therefore “it cannot be love, honesty, being faithful, etc., which are anyway traits of righteous people.” If the marriage contract fails to contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum.

Mahr is mentioned several times in the Quran and Hadith, and there is no maximum limit to the amount the groom may pay as mahr, but at a minimum it is an amount that would be sufficient for the woman to be able to survive independently if her husband dies or they divorce.

The term dowry (Latin, dos dotis) is inaccurate as strictly speaking it is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage, usually provided by her parents or family. In Islam, bride prices and dowries are forbidden. Any assets brought into the union by the wife may only be accepted by the husband after the mahr has been paid by him to her.

With prior mutual agreement, the mahr may also be paid in parts to the bride with an amount given by the groom to the bride at the signing of the marriage contract, also called a mu’qadamm (in Arabic: ‎; مقدم, literally translated as forepart presented), and the later portion postponed to a date during the marriage, also called amu’akhaar (in Arabic: ‎ مؤخر, literally translated as delayed). Various Romanized transliterations of mu’qadamm and mu’akhaar are accepted. Such an agreement does not make the full amount of the mahr any less legally required, nor is the husband’s obligation to fulfill the agreement waived or lessened while he fulfills his obligations to reasonably house, feed, or cloth the wife (and any children produced from the union) during the marriage.

Quran [4:4] “You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably.”

Quran [5:5] “Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.”

Quran [60:10] “O you who believe, when believing women (abandon the enemy and) ask for asylum with you, you shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries. Do not keep disbelieving wives (if they wish to join the enemy). You may ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid. This is GOD’s rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.”

Spousal support and mahr

Another general confusion among some people is the idea that, in the case of divorce, the Mahr is the only recourse the wife is entitled. When there are children involved, the Quran specifies that the husband has a duty to provide for their support and maintenance until they are weaned. This duty has been extended in current times by courts in many Muslim countries until the children complete their education. There is a modern movement to seek financial support for the woman as well, if she is unable to maintain herself by working due to age, or commitments of child rearing, or disability. The wife is entitled to an equitable financial support from the husband determined by a judge in a court of law. Some Muslim feminist in Western countries have been inclined to argue from the verse “For divorced women a provision in kindness: a duty for those who ward off (evil)” Qu’ran [2:241], that this requires husbands to support the wife financially if, for example a wife spent years of her life supporting (financially and otherwise) a husband while he is studying and/or sponsoring his migration or citizenship, then a divorce takes place and the husband thinks that all that he owes her is the postponed Mahr. It is however not a widely accepted interpretation of that verse, as the verse itself implies it is a duty to those who do not want to stray into sin by being mean or cruel, not a stated requirement.

The application of financial support from the man (when there are no children involved) is only when he has chosen unilaterally to divorce the wife and not when the wife is the divorce petitioner for Khula. In such situations the wife is required to forfeit all or part of the postponed Mahr and/or return the advanced Mahr as part of a divorce settlement. The husband may also demand return of other gifts and expenditures during the course of the marriage (apart from that he was obliged to provide such as food, clothing, shelter etc.), in order to release the woman from the marriage bond. If however the husband had been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him, and courts will enforce the woman’s right to keep her own property.

Marriage contracts and forced/un-consented marriages

The marriage contract is concluded between the wali, or guardian, of the bride and bridegroom, not between bridegroom and bride. The wali of the bride can only be a free Muslim. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferably her father. If the bride is a virgin, the wali mujbir, that is her father or paternal grandfather, can not force the bride into the marriage even against her proclaimed will; according to most scholars.

The notable exception to this is the Hanafi school, (the first and still largest of the four classical schools of Islamic thought) which holds that a bride’s permission is required if she has reached puberty. They also hold that if a bride was forced into marriage before reaching puberty; then upon attaining puberty, she has the option to nullify the marriage if she wishes. A wali other than the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride, then called wali mukhtar, needs the consent of the bride according to the majority of scholars. If the bride is silent about the issue, i.e. her wali expressed his intention to marry her off to a certain man, and she did not object to it; then consent is assumed via her lack of objection.

For all schools of Islamic jurisprudence the systematization of their school is the guideline for their decision, not single hadiths, that liberal Muslims often cite. Two of these hadiths are the following:

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: “A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and it is permission enough for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness).” [Al-Bukhari:6455, Muslim & Others].

It is reported in a hadith that A’ishah related that she asked the Prophet : “In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her off, should her permission be sought or not?” He replied: “Yes, she must give her permission.” She then said: “But a virgin would be shy, O Messenger of Allaah!” He replied: “Her silence is [considered as] her permission.” [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, & Others]

Source: ‘Al-Masaa’il Al-Maardeeniyyah’ by: Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah.

And   We created everything in pairs, that perhaps you may remember (Quran 51:49)

So you are getting married? Congratulations, and may God bless you and bring your chosen partner to a long and happy life together! Leaving your childhood behind, and becoming man and wife together, is most important step short of actually becoming Muslim that any human being can take in the interests of their own happiness and wellbeing. And among Allah’s signs is this: that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, so that you might find rest in them ; and He has set between you love and compassion. Truly there are sings in this for people w ho reflect.’(Qur’an, 20:21) ’Our Lord, grant us the delight of eyes from our wives and our offspring…’(Qur’an 25:74) Marriage is such an important step that our blessed prophet spoke of marriage as being half religion’: Whoever has marriage has completed half of his religion; therefore let him fear Allah in the other half!’(Bayhaqi). You have only to use your eyes and your ears, and consider the marriages of those people you know in your own circle of circle of family, friends and acquaintances, to know that this is so.

THE MUSLIM MARRIAGE GUIDE

If your marriage is happy and fulfilled, then no matter what troubles may beset you, no matter what hardships you are obliged to face as you pass along your circumstances, you will always face them as   if your back were against a protecting fortress, inside the walls of which you may set aside all the terrors and traumas for a while, and be loved. But marriage is also a most demanding training-ground of faith. By claiming it to be ‘half the religion’ the Blessed Prophet was not making an idle statement. When a human couple strive hard to get their marriage and family right in the eyes of God, they are indeed well on the road to Paradise. For it is love which makes a marriage-not a soppy, sentimental kind of romantic dream, but the sort of love which will hang on to you when everyone else has turned against you and is speaking wrongly of you, while you have confidence that your partner (who knows you better than any person) will justify that confidence, and spring to your defense. Sounds too good to be true? Those of you who have grown up in unhappy circumstances, in families shaken by frustrations and depressions, where the adults were bitter and cynical, and over-authoritarian, may well wonder if it is possible to have such a loving relationship with another human being.

GETTING MARRIED

By the grace of god, it is possible, and it is what Allah intended for you, by the practice of Islam which is submission to His compassionate will. But a happy marriage is not simply ‘made in Heaven. It does not happen by accident. You could go into a most beautiful garden and be amazed at the profusion and lushness of the flowers, the neatness of the borders and grasses, the absence of marauding insects and pests-and you would never for a moment think that this had come about by accident. You would know straight away, that the garden had been creating by a person or team of people who loved gardening, and no matter what setbacks and problems were determined to produce a thing of great beauty and joy. A marriage is cultivated in exactly the same way.

You have to be able to see in your mind’s eye the sort of garden/marriage you would like to have   when it is finished, and aim towards it. If events turn out slightly that much , because your master plan will be there to keep you  expected, it does not matter all that much, because your masterplan will be there to keep you heading in the right direction, and all unexpected events will simply be incorporated into moving towards this plan. Carrying on with the garden imagery, you have to be able to recognize the seeds that you are planting, and weed out the plants you are planting, and weed out the plants you don’t want before they cause trouble. Some seeds develop into beautiful flowers, while others are troublesome weeds-like bindweed, which climbs over everything else and chokes it, until the garden is buried and destroyed.

THE MUSLIM MAGGIAGE GUIDE

You have to be on the alert for invasions of malicious pests which, although they are themselves claiming a right to live, are nevertheless gaining their living at the expense of yours, and are ruining the things you have planted.

You have to keep an eye on the weather, and when there is not enough rainfall, you must do the long chore of going round the garden yourself carrying water, making sure everything is all right. In a long, dry spell, this might mean a everything is all right.

In a long, dry spell, this might mean a great deal of drudgery – but you know that without it your garden will fail and die. It is up to you to keep everything going. All devout Muslims, men and women, should remember this fact, in case they think that in marriage God has granted them something in which they can just lounge about and’ watch the flowers grow’. God never grants human beings this privilege. Whatever they have that gives them pleasure, they have to work for it- they really have to earn the right to be its steward. Everything in life is a gift, and does not belong as of right to any person. Even your body is a gift, enjoyed (or not enjoyed) by your soul for the duration of its sojourn on earth. It is not there as a permanent feature of the universe; in fact, there are no permanent features of the universe-not even the rocks from which the great mountains are formed!

God has made us stewards, the khulafa; the guardians of this wondrous planet and its lifefroms. And the most important life that we will ever have to cherish is our own partner, our husband or wife. From that person, we are intended to produce in love the Muslims of the next generation, and set them on their own ways with our examples and encouragement. With that person, we are supposed to build to up our own lives, free from fears and resentments and uncertainties, so that we can concentrate on filling our ‘space’ with love and the service of god.

This is why marriage is ‘half the religion’. Islam is intended to cover every aspect of a believer‘s life, twenty-four hours per day. Our relationship with our life- partner and family certainly accounts for at least half of this time, and for some women, it occupies one hundred percent of their time.

We neglect this most vital charge laid upon us at our peril. No human being was intended to live in isolation-either splendid isolation, thinking himself for herself ‘better’ than the common herd in any way, or in grief- stricken isolation, deprived of life’s comforts and the satisfying of natural appetites and the satisfying of natural appetites and needs. God created Man and Woman from a single soul, and He intended them to live and work together.       

‘O humanity; fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul, and from it created its spouse, and from the two of them did spread forth a multitude of men and women(4:1)

We created you from you from a single pair of male and female.’

     (49:13 see also 35:11)

In this is a sure sign. Each is necessary to the other.

THE MUSLIM MARRIAGE GUIDE

People may live and work and have faith on their own, but it is only a ‘half-life’.

As any single person, or window living alone or abandoned half of a couple will tell you, it is possible to survive and live by yourself, and even to wring some enjoyment out of this life- for you are free to be selfish and do the things you want to do without much consideration of the needs and wants of others. But there is a terrible price for this solitary existence.

It is like a blind person development extra-sensitive hearing in order to compensate and cope with lack  of sight; or paralyzed person in a wheelchair developing extra- large arm muscles to make up for the lack of legs. It can be done-but it is a miserable and long process. Married life brings its pressures, but it can also provide the kind of relaxation that human beings naturally need. Imam al-Ghazali observes that:

One of the benefits of marriage is enjoyment of the company and the sight of one‘s spouse, and by shared amusement, whereby the sight of one‘s spouse, and by shared amusement, whereby the heart is refreshed and strengthened for the soul is prone to boredom and is inclined to shun duty as something unnatural  to it. If forced to persevere in something in something it dislikes, it shines and backs away, whereas if it is revived from time to time by pleasures it acquires new strength and vigour.’(Ihlya Ulum al din)

The sign and the design that god intended is that is that it is best for men and women to come together as a team.

People work together as all sorts of teams-they cooperate for the sake of games and sport; they unit to do a task too greats for an individual, like building a house; they sort themselves out into managers and workers in order to create businesses and earn living. But the most fundamental team of all, and the one which is the most important is that of a man and woman deciding to live together on space as husband and wife.