The month of Muharram is the first month of the Arabic year, and it is one of the four sacred months of Allah. Allah says in the Quran: 

“Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred (i.e. the 1st, the 7th, the 11th and the 12th months of the Islamic calendar)….”[Quran, Surah Al-Tawbah 9:36]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The division of time has turned to its original form which was current the day Allah created the heavens and earth. The year consists of twelve months of which four are sacred: three consecutive months, Dhu’l-Qa’dah, Dhu’l-Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumada and Sha’baan.” [Hadith mentioned in al-Bukhaari (3167) and Muslim (1679) as narrated from Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him)]

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” Narrated by Muslim, 1163.

It was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not fast any month in full apart from Ramadan, so this hadith is to be understood as meaning that it is it is encouraged to fast a lot in the month of Muharram, not to fast the whole month.

10th of Muharram (the day of Ashura) is observed as an important day by both Sunni and Shia Muslims – however, for different reasons. Most scholars believe that Ahsura is named as such because of “tenth” of Muharram (ten is translated as “Ashara” in the Arabic language)  Based on the Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (saws), Sunni Muslims celebrate Ashura as the day when Prophet Moses (Moosa) fasted on that day because Allah saved the Israelites from their enemy in Egypt. One of the many Ahadith (sayings of Prophet Muhammad) that attests to that is in Bukhari that states:

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1865) from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: The Prophet (saws) came to Madinah and saw the Jews fasting on the day of Ashoora. He said, “What is this?” They said, “This is a good day, this is the day when Allah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Moosa fasted on this day.” He (the Prophet Muhammad) said, “We are closer to Moosa than you.”

So he (the Prophet Muhammad) fasted on this day and told the people to fast. There are many other versions of this Hadith in the books of “Muslim” and “Bukhari”. According to a version narrated by Muslim,

This is a great day when Allah saved Moosa (Moses) and his people and drowned Pharaoh and his people.” Sunni Muslims celebrate Ashura by fasting on that day. Usually, Sunni Muslims are recommended to fast on the 9th and 10th of Muharram. 

It is permissible to fast the day of Ashoora on its own, but it is better to fast the day before it or the day after it. This is the Sunnah that is proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), as he said, “If I am still alive next year, I will certainly fast the ninth.” Narrated by Muslim, 1134. [Source: Islam-QA.com (question 21776)]

Other Ahadith on the subject are the following:

The prophet observed the fast on Ashuraa (the 10th of Muharram), and ordered (Muslims) to fast on that day. (Agreed upon Hadith i.e. Bukhari & Muslim).

Narrated by Abi Katada: The prophet was asked about fasting on ‘Ashuraa’ (the 10th of Muharram), he said: “it expiates the previous year (for sins).” (Sahih Muslim)

It was proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that the best fasting after Ramadaan is fasting in the month of Muharram. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best fasting after Ramadaan is the month of Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” Narrated by Muslim, 1163.

As 10th of Muharram for this year 1435 Hijri will fall on November 14^th, 2013, that day and the day before or after will be the two days Muslims should be looking to fast.

Here is a Quranic verse that guides us to a tip that we can use immediately to reconcile between those people who have enmity and hatred toward each other. First, a little background. During the prophet’s time, Aws and Khazraj were two warring tribes in Yathrib (now called Medina). Approximately, couple of years before their acceptance of Islam the two clans were hard core enemies and had enormous levels of enmity and hatred for each other. During one of the battles (Battle of Bu’ath) both tribes seemed set to annihilate each other.The Aws were supported by the Jewish tribes of Banu Nadir, Banu Qurayza, and by the Arab Bedouins of the Muzayna tribe. The Khazraj on the other hand were supported by other local Bedouin tribes. During the battle, the Aws and their allies initially had to retreat, but then they counterattacked and defeated the Khazraj. During the battle, the leaders of both forces were killed.

However, after their acceptance and embracing of Islam, both tribes developed feelings of strong love and brotherhood for each other. This unity developed despite their history and long-standing traditions of mutual enmity. Sheikh Moududi states in his tafseer that to have such severe enmity turn into deep cordiality and brotherhood within a quite short span of time and to have such enemies unite together so closely was doubtlessly beyond the power of any mortal. Were anyone to depend on worldly factors alone, it would have been impossible to bring about such an achievement. The prophet (saw) and his companions witnessed this miracle of Allah when the hearts of two warring factions came together with mutual feelings of love, brotherhood, and respect. Allah says in the Quran:

“and joined their hearts. Had you given away all the riches of the earth you could not have joined their hearts, but it is Allah Who joined their hearts. Indeed He is All-Mighty. All-Wise. Quran (Surah Al-Anfal: 63).”

The simple yet powerful lesson we can take from this verse is that in cases when there is a need to reconcile between the hearts of two Muslims (or parties), we should sincerely pray to Allah, as He alone can guide our hearts. This tip may seem simplistic but a sincere Dua can bring harmony and love to the hearts of the warring parties more than any other worldly tactic. Whether its hatred between two friends, brothers, spouses, or any other family members, a sincere Dua to Allah will surely bring results faster and reconcile between their hearts more than any other ingenious plans.

You can also use the following Dua that the prophet (s) used to help remove feeling of bitterness from our hearts.

This is one of the Duas that most Muslims recite daily in their prayers and outside their prayers. This Dua is not only mentioned in the Quran but Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.S.) advised us of the many merits of this Dua.

Ibn Al-Kathir also mentions in his tafsir that the Sunnah encourages us reciting this Dua (i.e., in the Ayah about gaining a good deed in this life and the Hereafter). Al-Bukhari reported that Anas bin Malik narrated that the Prophet used to say:

(O Allah, our Lord! Give us that which is good in this life, that which is good in the Hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire.)

The Quran states it in the following verse:

And of them there are some who say: “Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!” Quran: Surah Albaqarah (201)

Ibn Al-Kathir states that the supplication mentioned and praised in the verse includes all good aspects of this life and seeks refuge from all types of evil. The good of this life concerns every material request of well-being, spacious dwelling, pleasing mates, sufficient provision, beneficial knowledge, good profession or deeds, comfortable means of transportation and good praise, all of which the scholars of Tafsir have mentioned regarding this subject. All of these are but a part of the good that is sought in this life. As for the good of the Hereafter, the best of this includes acquiring Paradise, which also means acquiring safety from the greatest horror at the gathering place. It also refers to being questioned lightly and the other favors in the Hereafter.

As for acquiring safety from the Fire, it includes being directed to what leads to this good end in this world, such as avoiding the prohibitions, sins of all kinds and doubtful matters.

Al-Qasim bin `Abdur-Rahman said,

“Whoever is gifted with a grateful heart, a remembering tongue and a patient body, will have been endowed with a good deed in this life, a good deed in the Hereafter and saved from the torment of the Fire.”

Imam Ahmad reported that Anas said,

“Allah’s Messenger visited a Muslim man who had become as weak as a sick small bird. Allah’s Messenger said to him, `Were you asking or supplicating to Allah about something’ He said, `Yes. I used to say: O Allah! Whatever punishment you saved for me in the Hereafter, give it to me in this life.’ Allah’s Messenger said:

(All praise is due to Allah! You cannot bear it -or stand it-. You should have said: (Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!))

Transliteration in English: (Rabbana atina fee alddunya hasanatan wafee alakhirati hasanatan waqinaAAathaba alnnari)

The man began reciting this Dua and he was cured.” [Sahih Muslim also recorded it.]

In conclusion, as mentioned by Al-Qasim bin `Abdur-Rahman above, let us strive to have a grateful heart, a remembering tongue and a patient body.

According to the prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), Surah Al-Fatihah is considered as “the greatest Surah” of the Quran. The following provides information about this great Surah along with its many benefits and virtues including its use in healing.

The many names of Surah Al-Fateha

This chapter has a great many names, each one indicating a different aspect of its meaning. In the eyes of Arabs if a thing had many different names, this was an indication of its importance. The popular names of this Surah are the following:

• Al-Fatihah (The Opening) – It is named Al-Fatihah, the Opening – because it opens the Book and by it the recitation in prayer commences.
• Umm al-Quran (Mother of the Quran) – According to At-Tirmidhi on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The chapter commencing with] “All praises and thanks are due to Allah the Lord of the Worlds” is the Mother of the Quran, the Mother of the Book, the Seven Oft Repeated Verses and the Great Quran.” Ibn Jarir at-Tabari said that it was named so because the meaning of the entire Quran is summarized therein. The Arabs named anything that concisely summarizes something or comprises its most important part, Umm, or Mother.
• Umm al-Kitab (Mother of the Book) – Al-Bukhari said in the beginning of the Book of Tafsir in his Sahih: “It is named Umm al-Quran because it is the first chapter written in the Quranic texts and the recitation in prayer commences with it.”
• Sab’ul-Mathani (The Seven Oft Repeated Verses) – It is also named Sab’ul-Mathani, the Seven Oft Repeated Verses, because they are frequently recited and indeed recited in every rakaah of the prayer. Allah says in the Quran:

“And indeed, We have bestowed upon you seven of Al-Mathani (the seven repeatedly recited Verses), (i.e. Surat Al-Fatiha) and the Grand Quran. [Quran: Surah Al-Hijr (87)]”

• Al-Hamd (Praises to Allah) – It is also named Al-Hamd, the Praise, because it contains mention of hamd just as Al-Baqarah is named so because it contains mention of the cow. Some scholars also gave the reasoning that Al-Hamd comprises heart of Al-Fatihah.
• As-Salah (The Prayer) – It is named the Prayer because its recitation is a condition for the validity of the prayer.
• Ash-Shifa – It is also named Ash-Shifa’, the Cure, due to what Ad-Darimi reports on the authority of Abu Sa’id that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The Opening of the Book is a cure to every poison.”
• Ar-Ruqyah – It is also named Ar-Ruqya, the Spiritual Cure due to the hadith of Abu Sa’id reported by Bukhari that after he had recited it to cure a person who had been bitten by a scorpion, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked him, “…And what made you to know that it was a ruqya.”
• Asas al-Quran (the Foundation of the Quran) – Ash-Sha’bi records on the authority of Ibn Abbas that he named it , and that he said, “The foundation of Al-Fatihah is, “Bismillah…” (with the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Most Merciful.)

Other scholars have also named it as Al-Kanz (the Treasure), Ash-Shukr (Gratitude), ad-Dua (Supplication), Ash-Shafiyah (the sufficient), Al-Kafiyah (the Sufficient), Al-Wafiyah, the Fulfillment and more.

Revelation of Surah Al-Fatihah

It was revealed in Mecca as stated by Ibn Abbas, Qatadah and Abu’l-Aliyah. It is also postulated that it was revealed in Madinah as stated by Abu Hurayrah, Mujahid, ‘Ata ibn Yasar and Az-Zuhri. It is also said that it was revealed on two separate occasions – once in Makkah and once in Madinah. However the first opinion is the most likely due to Allah’s saying, “We have sent to you the Seven Oft Repeated Verses.” [Al-Hijr 15:87] This verse was revealed in Makkah by agreement of the exegeses.

The Ruling of Reciting Al-Fatihah in Prayer

The opinion of the majority of the scholars, amongst them Malik, Ash-Shafi’i and Ahmad, is that it is obligatory to recite Al-Fatihah in the prayer and that the prayer is invalid without it. Their opinion is based upon many proofs; from amongst them, the sayings of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who said that “There is no prayer for the one who does not recite the Opening of the Book.”

Narrated ‘Ubâdah bin As-Sâmit Allâh’s Messenger said, “Whoever does not recite Sûrat Al-Fâtihah in his prayer, his prayer is invalid. (Sahih Al-Bukhâri, Vol.1, Hadîth No. 723).

However, Abu Hanifa and some others had differing opinions on this.

In the case where one is a follower in a congregational prayer then the scholars fell into three opinions with regards to his reciting Al-Fatiha,:

1. It is obligatory upon him to recite it in all prayers.

2. It is upon him not to recite it in all prayers.

3. He should recite it in those prayers in which the recitation is silent, but not in those prayers in which the recitation is loud.

Composition of Surah Al-Fatihah

It consists of seven verses and there is no difference of opinions concerning this. Scholars have differed concerning the statement “Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Raheem” (with the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Most Merciful.” The majority of the reciters of Kufa postulate that the “verse of Bismillah” comprises an independent verse of Al-Fatihah and this is also the opinion of a group of the Sahabah, Tabi’in and a large group of the later scholars. However the reciters and jurists of Madinah regard it to be part of a verse, and not an independent verse, or not a verse at all. Those who postulate that “Bismillah” is not a verse of Al-Fatihah state that the seventh verse commences with the words, “not [the path] of those who have earned [Your] Anger … ” (This is because there is no disagreement that Surah Al-Fatihah has seven verses.)

The Virtues of Surah Al-Fatihah

There are a number of ahadith explaining to us the great virtue of this surah. They are summarized as follows: Allah responds to the believer when he recites Surah Al-Fatiah. Sahih Muslim records on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (R) who said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,

“Allah, the Glorious and Exalted said, “I have divided the prayer between Myself and my servant equally and My servant shall be granted what he asked for.” Therefore, when the servant says, ‘All praises and thanks are due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds’, Allah says, ‘My servant has praised Me.’ When he says,’The All-Merciful, the Most Merciful,’Allah says, ‘My servant has extolled Me.’ When he says, ‘Master of the Day of Judgment,’ Allah says, ‘My servant has glorified Me.’ When he says, ‘You Alone we worship and Your aid Alone do we seek,’ Allah says, ‘this is between Me and My servant and My servant shall have what he requested.’ When he says, ‘Guide us to the Straight Path, the Path of those whom You have favored, not [the path] of those who have earned [Your] anger, nor of those who have gone astray,’ Allah says, ‘this is for My servant and My servant shall have what he asked for.’ “

“Mother of the Quran”

At-Tirmidhi records on the authority of Abu Hurayrah who said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,

[The chapter commencing with],”All praises and thanks are due to Allah the Lord of the worlds” is the Mother of the Quran, the Mother of the Book, the Seven Oft Repeated Verses and the Great Qur’an.”

Unlike other revelations

Ahmad records on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (radiyAllahu’anhu) who said (in part of the hadith) that “The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) called Ubayy ibn Ka’b and told him that,

“…Would you like me to teach you a Surah the likes of which is not to be found in the Tawrah, Injil, Zabur or the [rest of the] Quran?” He said, “Yes O Messenger of Allah”‘ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘I hope that I will not leave this door until you know it.’

“Ubayy said, ‘Then he took hold of my hand and talked to me while I slowed down fearing that we may reach the door before he finished talking. When we did reach it I asked him, ‘What is the Surah you promised me, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, “What is the Surah you recite in prayer?” So I recited the Mother of the Quran upon which he said, ‘By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, Allah has not revealed the likes of it in the Torah, Injil, Zabur or the [rest of the] Quran. It is the Seven Oft-Repeated verses.’ “

Greatest Surah of the Quran

Ahmad records on the authority of Abu Sa’ad ibn Al-Mu’alla who said (in part of the hadith) that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,

“…I will teach a Surah which is the greatest Surah in the Quran before you leave the Masjid.’ Then he took hold of my hand and when he intended to leave [the Masjid], I asked him, “Did you not say that you would teach me a Surah which is the greatest Surah in the Qur’an?” He replied, ‘Yes. It is [the Surah commencing with], “All praise and thanks are due to Allah.” It is the Seven Oft-Repeated verses and the Great Qur’an that has been given to me.’ “

Surah Al-Fatehah part of the two lights given to the prophet (s) Sahih Muslim records on the authority of Ibn Abbas (radiy Allahu ‘anhu) who said,

“While the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Jibril he heard a creaking sound above him. Jibril looked up and said, “This is [the sound of] a gate that has been opened in heaven today and has never been previously opened.” Then an Angel descended through it and came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said, ‘Rejoice in the good news of two lights that have been given to you such as no prophet before you has been given. [They are] Surah Al-Fatihah and the concluding [two] verses of Surah Al-Baqarah. You will never recite a word from them without being given the blessings they contain.’ “

The Most Noble and excellent part of the Quran

An-Nisai records on the authority of Anas that the prophet said,

“Should I not inform you of the most noble and excellent part of the Quran?” He then recited “All praise and thanks are due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds”

Mujahid said, ‘When this chapter was revealed it bore down heavily upon iblis and he let out a loud wail in lament…’The Surah appears below in its entirety.

1 In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

2 All the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the Alameen (mankind, jinns and all that exists).

3 The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

4 The Only Owner (and the Only Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)

5 You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything).

6 Guide us to the Straight Way

7 The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray. [Quran, Surah Al-Fatihah]

Islamic teachings put great emphasis in how we deal with people in our daily lives. The prophet (S.A.W.S.) summed up his message by stating: “I have been sent to perfect the best of manners”. As Muslims, we, therefore, have to be aware of how each one of us deals with people in our circles. Our good dealings not only will ensure that we are not violating other people’s rights but can also make us accepted, loved and appreciated by others. Luqman once said to his son, “O my son: Let your speech be good and your face be smiling; you will be more loved by the people than those who give them provisions.” – (Mentioned in the stories of ibn Kathir.)

Experience shows that life becomes pleasant when we can manage our work and relationships well. Quranic wisdom and the example of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h)’s dealings with people should help us steer our relationships and keep them on the right track. This post highlights certain essential principles of Islam that guide us in this matter.

Not showing pride and arrogance

It is so easy to get carried away by whatever we may possess of wealth and the good things of life. It is so easy and common to credit ourselves with our achievements and feel proud of them, and then, as a matter of course, to look down upon others who haven’t been able to make the same effort or reach the status we might have achieved. What makes all this happen is our own ego and the ever opportunistic Satan who knows our vulnerability. And so The One Who cares for our well being the most, Allah the Most Merciful, has warned us against falling into the trap of pride and arrogance.

He Says in the Quran (interpretation of the Arabic meaning):

And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster. (Surah Luqman:18)

The way to avoid pride and arrogance is to remember Allah as much as we can till it becomes a habit to instantly thank Him for any good that comes our way. Thankfulness to Allah creates humility in us and makes us aware that we’re not entirely responsible for all the good things of life. We wouldn’t have gotten them if He hadn’t willed them for us, nor can we retain them if He decides to take them away from us.

Not to mock others

 We often see people taking pleasure in making fun of others or mocking them. Is it that the ego craves for the satisfaction of proving oneself better than others by looking out for others’ weaknesses and laughing at them? But Allah admonishes us:

O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. (Surah Hujrat, 11)

Allah tells us that our knowledge is restricted by our limited perception. Since we’re not aware of any one’s real worth, wouldn’t it be foolish to laugh at those who might actually be better than us? We can curb this tendency by opening our eyes to the fact that when we think that others deserve to be ridiculed, we’re actually fooling ourselves and no one else (though we might find a few thoughtless and insensitive people to give us company in our foolish pastime).

Not addressing people with undesirable titles

A general misconception about sense of humor is the so called ‘ability’ to make others laugh. Giving nicknames to others on account of some negative characteristic that is noticed in them or even some disability that they might be suffering from is a crude form of entertainment. Making fun of those who stammer, or are very short or lean, is obviously some form of indecency practiced by callous people, and enjoyed by others who lack sensitivity to human feelings. Allah warns us against such behavior and practices. He says:

. . . Nor defame yourselves, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is the name of wickedness after faith. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed wrongdoers (Surah Hujrat: 11)

Refraining from ‘tajassus’ (spying)

Imam Al-Nawawi (rh) said that scholars have differentiated between ‘tahassus’, which means ‘snooping’ and listening to other people’s conversations, and ‘tajassus’, which means ‘spying’, seeking out other people’s faults and looking for secrets. Both activities are considered evil and have been forbidden. Allah Says:

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicion is sin. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it. And have Taqwa of Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (Hujrat 49:12)

Is it for want of a better activity to keep ourselves busy, that we enjoy peeping into others’ lives?  Seeking out information about other people’s state of affairs, searching and disclosing their secrets has been strictly forbidden. (Hence, to eavesdrop upon somebody while hiding or pretending to sleep is like spying on others.) Spying done with the intention of exposing the faults or unveiling the secrets of others, is a sin. It also leads to backbiting which is Haram. Allah has closed every door that leads to the evil of backbiting and has made spying Haram.

Abu Huraira (RA) narrated that the Prophet (p.b.u.h) said:“Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others’ faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah’s worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!). (Bukhari)

Our relationships should always have only a positive outcome. That’s the only way to seek Allah’s favor when in the company of others. We should say what’s good or refrain from saying anything. We should also have the moral sense and courage to stop others from backbiting for even if we don’t contribute to it, we become guilty of the sin by being silent listeners and participants. The best means of avoiding it is by changing the topic or saying sensibly that we don’t really know the whole truth of the matter so that we shouldn’t be unfair to any one.

Resolving differences with people

According to Abu Hurayrah (RA), the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h) said:

“The gates of Paradise will be opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said: ‘Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled.’” [Muslim (also by Malik and Abu Dawud)]

As long as we nurture any kind of enmity in our heart and prolong any conflict with a Muslim brother, we’re giving evidence of the weakness of our faith. For Faith in Allah is expressed through obedience to Allah. And Allah has said this in the verses of the Quran:

The believers are but a brotherhood. So make reconciliation between your brothers, and have Taqwa of Allah so that you may receive mercy. (Surah Hujrat:10)  So have Taqwa of Allah and settle all matters of difference among you, and obey Allah and His Messenger, if you are believers. (Surah Aanfal:1)

Whatever be our differences in opinions or feelings, we’re expected to set them aside and maintain good relations with each other. Ego ‘nafs’ is never to be allowed to supersede true faith. The whole purpose of our life is to prepare ourselves for the hereafter, and with this long term goal in mind we have to overcome pettiness and trivialities. Our constant struggle is with two real enemies. One is Satan who keeps making the world and worldliness more and more alluring for us. The other is our own ego that inflates our importance in our eyes beyond any sensible measure. It is these that cause conflicts and misunderstandings.

Controlling your hands and tongue How do we resolve differences that have unwittingly or even intentionally cropped up? The best way is to control our tongues and hands that might be too eager to express those feelings! Discretion in speech and actions is the hall mark of a sensible person. We need to consciously practice patience; we need to learn to talk to ourselves, to introspect, before we give freedom to our tongue to have its way. Especially when it comes to speaking about others or voicing our opinion about them, we need to be extra careful that we don’t mislead anyone. Speaking thoughtlessly, or on hearsay, amounts to slander about which we have been warned strictly. Allah Says:

And those who abuse believing men and women, when they have not merited it, bear the weight of slander and clear wrongdoing. (Ahzaab33:58)

Giving the benefit of doubt – Attributing positive motives to others’ actions

It would help to keep away form slander if we could cultivate the habit of thinking well of others so that even when we hear something negative about them we don’t just get carried away by it but try to see what could have gone wrong. Attributing positive motives to others’ actions helps in understanding them better. Let us also remind ourselves whenever we attempt to judge others, that no one is perfect. We too have our own drawbacks which we wouldn’t like being mentioned or discussed. Hence fairness requires that we do unto others what we expect them to do to us. Moreover, we’ve been assured protection and covering of our faults by Allah the Most Merciful on the Day of Judgment, if we’ve been careful to cover the faults of a Muslim brother / sister here on earth.

Expressing gratitude to others

Expressing gratitude for favors done and help rendered is not only the basic requirement of social etiquette but has far reaching effects. It strengthens our relationship and adds warmth to it. On the other hand, taking others for granted, however close the relationship might be, causes disappointment and conveys the impression that we don’t know how to value people, that we just know how to use them! Thanks and appreciation expressed sincerely with a smile gives off a bright glow which is felt by the heart.

Smiling at others is charity

Allah All Knowing considers smiling at others a charity. We know very well what a smile can convey – absence of ill feeling, acceptance, warmth, and the willingness to share our time or space. Let us not be miserly about brightening our face with a cheerful smile.

Visiting the sick

Great merit has been attached to the act of visiting the sick. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) showed concern for a (Jewish) woman who’d throw waste on him whenever he passed her house. The day she failed to throw it, he enquired about her and came to know that she was sick. He tended to her through her sickness and when she recovered she instantly accepted Islam, seeing what character it develops in its followers.

Being kind, gentle, caring and concerned

The prophet (p.b.u.h) has given us excellent examples in forgiveness, kindness and tenderness. An old woman who intended to leave Makkah since she did not like the idea of a new religion being preached by a young man named “Muhammad” didn’t realize that he was the one helping her by carrying her belongings and accompanying her till the outskirts of the city. Complaining all the way about a new faith being preached, which required giving up old customs and practices, she finally asked the Prophet his name just before parting. On coming to know that this was the man on account of whom she was about to leave Makkah, she not only retraced her steps and changed her decision of leaving, but also accepted Islam seeing its exemplary representative and a living ideal!

Be Good to your Neighbours

Rasululaahi (saw) said: He who believes in Allah and the Day of Resurrection, do not harm his neighbor.  And whosever has Faith in Allah and the Day of Judgment, let him speak only what is good or else, remain silent.

Rights of Neighbours

Neighbours have the following rights:

• Deal with him/her with goodness and leniency
• Protect the honour of his/her family
• From time to time send him and his family gifts if they are Muslims
• Do not cause him trouble and inconvenience, nor quarrel with him on small matters.
• Give greetings and respect more at all times.

Conclusion

Bad habits picked up over the years in dealing with people can sometimes be difficult to let go and may not even seem that bad. However, we need to strive in changing the undesirable so our families, friends, peers, and others can see the better of us.